Thursday, February 7, 2013

Mean girls


They exist. If you're breathing, then you've ran into one or more of them. I got teased off and on about my red hair in school. I will always remember the whispery comments and giggles can't even remember the specific comments. Now that I'm 29, I think, "Really? That was the worst you could come up with?" It wasn't my oversize maroon glasses, poofy bangs, or my jacked up perm? Surely they could have come up with something better, but at the time, it really hurt my feelings, down deep. Somewhere between "finding myself" in college and getting a degree I'll never use, I really started to like my red hair. Funny how the thing I was always so self conscious about as a young girl, became the thing I most love about myself, except that everyone assumes I have a temper. And yesterday I proved those people right...

Fire-red hair and all, I have never seen myself as someone who has a temper. I suppose you'd have to ask my husband to get the real answer :) But when someone messes with my kids, even if they're a big boned, shouldn't even count as a five year old kid, something inside of me snaps and I go postal. I must apologize to my new bible study friends :) I promise, my second impression will be much better.

There was a bullying incident in the Chick-fil-A play area. I took my eyes off of my boys while my daughter and I were finishing up our meal and the mommies were chatting. And it happened quick, but my boys were getting hurt and I could see them through the glass and I just couldn't get to them fast enough. I don't think you can ever really prepare yourself for all that motherhood throws your way. I remember the honey and I walking hand in hand late at night, pre-kids, around our college campus, talking about how we would handle certain situations that we might face as parents...When our kids were little, I always felt confident, like I totally had things under control. I guess it was because I was in control. I was always with them. They never left my sight or side. Today was my fault. I should have never allowed the boys to be in the play area without me physically being in the room. So there's that. And that feeling sucks. I also had to ask their forgiveness, but when I feel bad about something, it's hard for me to let it go, so I felt the need to ask for their forgiveness repeatedly. It wasn't until my middle son, said, "I know, mommy, it's ok," that I felt God speak to my heart. First, I realized that I should stop asking the boys to forgive me. Second, they forgave me the first time. And third, they really forgave me the first time. Isn't that kind of how we are with God? We ask Him to forgive us when we mess up and He forgives us. He really forgives us the very first time and then we keep bringing up old stuff back to Him?

I had such a learned lunch today. I learned that my boys are getting older and I'm not always going to be able to shelter them from worldly behavior (AKA mean girls). God did not make me to be a helicopter mom. He's the helicopter. I learned that different families roll in different ways, some parents would rather be on their phone than watch their kids- potato- potato, but no matter what comes our way, as their mommy, it's my job to show my children how to handle and respond with love in difficult situations.

So yesterday, when we got home, we made "Love" cards and talked about the importance of sharing God's love. Below is what my oldest son made. He said he wanted to give it to the little girl that hurt he and his brother because he wanted her to know about Jesus.

This quote was on my Power of a Praying Parent flip calendar yesterday and I thought I would share it with you~
Lord, teach me how to love the way You love. Where I need to be healed, delivered, changed, matured, or made whole, I invite you to do that in me.

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