That's how I've been feeling lately....
which explains this...
Since having our kids, we have either lived in an apartment or a townhome with bricks in our backyard and two itty bitty triangles of grass, in the front, that my husband would cut with scissors. Some days I miss it so much...I close my eyes and remember our babies running around being silly. It warms my heart.
When we moved to Texas, having a real yard was one of those things that just made us excited. A place for our kids to run around barefoot and enjoy childhood to the fullest. That's what I saw, for our kids, when we bought our new house.
Since moving here, we have had a dog poop issue and we don't own a dog. Every day, my kids run 90 miles an hour through the yard and blaze through a pile 'o surprise and it's gross. Anyway, this morning, I decided to ask the pooper owner to not poop in our yard anymore. So, like any normal person, I got up at 5:45am, put on my hot pink rob and slippers, poured a cup of coffee, and waited an hour until I spotted the poopster. It wasn't received well and the conversation didn't go like I had envisioned. Honestly, it's now kind of a blur...
Whenever I get riled up and have a moment to trace my feelings back, it usually begins with a fierce love for my kids. I never knew how much being a mama would change me. Motherhood has changed my appearance. It's changed the way I look at the world. It's changed the way I love. It's changed nearly every thing about me and I am better because of the those three little people. The other day, I got the urge to stick my tongue out at a first grader. A first grader. I'm not proud, but it's true.
You always want better, you always want more for your kids. I hope my kids know that every thing I do, every crazy thing I do, is because I love them.